For a long time, I believed what many business owners believe.
If I hired capable people, built solid systems, and held everyone accountable, the business would naturally succeed.
Those things certainly matter.
But over the years, I discovered they’re not the foundation of a healthy organization.
People are.
That lesson didn’t come easily. It was shaped through leadership mistakes, painful turnover, difficult conversations, and more than a few humbling experiences.
Today, when I think about the strongest teams I’ve ever been part of—whether in rowing or business—they all had one thing in common:
People felt valued.
Not because of their title.
Not because of what they produced.
But because someone genuinely cared about them and invested in their growth.
That realization changed the way I lead.
The Coach Who Taught Me What Leadership Really Means
One of the most important leadership lessons of my life happened on the water.
Our rowing team regularly endured grueling interval workouts. We’d row at maximum effort for ninety seconds, recover briefly, then do it all over again.
The purpose wasn’t simply building endurance.
It was learning how to maintain excellence when everything in you wanted to quit.
During these workouts, one of our coaches would run along the shoreline, keeping pace with the boat as we battled through each interval.
At the time, I didn’t think much about it.
I just knew he was always there.
Watching.
Observing.
Paying attention.
When the interval ended, he never offered vague praise or generic criticism.
Instead, he could tell every rower exactly what they had done well and exactly where they needed to improve.
His feedback was specific.
Personal.
Useful.
Looking back, I realize his effectiveness had very little to do with rowing technique.
It came from the fact that he knew us.
He understood our strengths.
He knew our tendencies.
He recognized our struggles.
He saw our potential.
His words carried weight because they came from a place of genuine understanding.
That experience became one of the foundations of how I think about leadership today.
The Mistake Many Leaders Make
Many leaders spend most of their energy managing performance.
Far fewer spend time understanding the people behind it.
We focus on metrics.
Reports.
Schedules.
Deadlines.
Reviews.
Meanwhile, it’s easy to lose sight of the individual sitting across from us.
But people aren’t machines.
You can’t lead someone well if all you know is what they produce.
You need to understand how they operate within the team.
You need to understand what motivates them, what challenges them, and how they affect the people around them.
That realization eventually led me to develop what I call the 3P Filter.
And it completely changed how I build teams.
Why I Stopped Treating Every Employee the Same
One of the biggest breakthroughs in my leadership journey came when I stopped approaching every employee with the same strategy.
For years, I managed reactively.
Someone excelled.
Someone struggled.
Someone created friction.
And I simply responded to whatever problem happened to be in front of me.
What I needed was a framework that helped me understand how each person contributed to the overall health of the team.
Over time, that framework became the 3P Filter:
Partners.
Projects.
Problems.
The concept is simple, but its impact is significant.
Partners consistently perform at a high level. They take ownership, support the team, and care deeply about the organization’s success. Ironically, these are often the people leaders unintentionally overlook because they require less supervision. Yet they still need encouragement, support, and opportunities to grow.
Projects are people with strong character and potential who are still developing their skills. They need coaching, accountability, and regular investment. Given enough support, many become exceptional contributors and future leaders.
Problems create disruption. They undermine trust, damage culture, and resist accountability. One of the hardest lessons I learned is that talent can never compensate for behavior that consistently harms the team.
Unfortunately, I learned that lesson the hard way.
The Employee I Should Have Addressed Sooner
Early in my business career, I had a manager who looked successful by almost every traditional measure.
The business was hitting its numbers.
Operations ran smoothly.
Tasks were completed.
From the outside, everything seemed fine.
But underneath the surface, the team was struggling.
When employees needed support, she was unavailable.
When challenges arose, responsibility was pushed elsewhere.
When team members needed guidance, they often felt abandoned rather than developed.
Over time, turnover became a constant problem.
People kept leaving.
The warning signs were obvious.
And I saw every one of them.
The truth is, I was afraid.
Afraid of losing someone who seemed difficult to replace.
Afraid of creating even more disruption.
Afraid of dealing with the consequences of confronting the issue directly.
So I tolerated behavior that conflicted with the culture I wanted to build.
Eventually, she left anyway.
And the damage she’d helped create became impossible to ignore.
Looking back, I realized I’d allowed the problem to grow far too long.
That experience was painful.
But it taught me something I’ll never forget:
The cost of avoiding a leadership decision is almost always greater than the discomfort of making it.
Why Culture Matters More Than Talent
Most hiring systems focus on one question:
Can this person do the job?
That’s important.
But it’s not enough.
I’ve hired highly skilled people who damaged team culture.
I’ve also hired inexperienced people who became extraordinary contributors.
The difference wasn’t talent.
It was character.
It was humility.
It was their willingness to support others and contribute to something larger than themselves.
Over time, I stopped focusing solely on what people could do and started paying much closer attention to how they did it.
Because healthy cultures consistently outperform talented dysfunction.
Every time.
The Shift That Changed Everything
The biggest transformation in my business happened when I stopped treating relationships as something separate from operations.
I began to see relationships as the work.
Regular coaching became normal.
Conversations became intentional.
Communication became proactive instead of reactive.
One of the best examples is Rachel.
When she joined our company, leadership wasn’t even part of her plan.
But through years of trust, coaching, and development, she grew into an exceptional manager.
We met regularly.
Talked through challenges.
Developed leadership skills.
Discussed long-term goals.
Eventually, she became one of the strongest leaders in the organization.
Then one day she told me she planned to return to school and pursue a new career path.
Years earlier, that conversation would have terrified me.
Instead, it became an opportunity.
Because trust had already been built.
She gave me seven months’ notice.
Together we created a succession plan.
Together we hired and trained her replacement.
The transition was smooth because the relationship was strong.
That experience reinforced something I’ve come to believe deeply:
When trust exists, difficult conversations become much easier.
A Simple Exercise To Better Understand Your Team
If you’d like to begin applying this approach today, try this simple exercise.
First, write down the names of everyone on your team.
Next, consider how each person is functioning right now.
Are they operating as a Partner, Project, or Problem?
Focus on behavior rather than personality.
Then ask yourself what each person needs most.
Some need encouragement.
Some need coaching.
Some need accountability.
Some may require a difficult but necessary conversation.
Finally, schedule one intentional conversation with a team member this week.
Not to discuss tasks.
Not to review performance.
Simply to understand them better.
You may be surprised by what you learn.
And those small conversations often create the biggest shifts in culture.
The Moment That Reminded Me Why Leadership Matters
A few months ago, I ran into someone who had worked for me years earlier at Jack in the Box.
We hadn’t spoken in a long time.
As we caught up, he told me how much his experience working with me had shaped his leadership journey.
Then he asked if I would mentor him through the next chapter of his life.
For a moment, I didn’t know what to say.
Not because I felt particularly qualified.
But because I was reminded of how much influence leaders carry.
People rarely remember every meeting.
Every policy.
Every schedule.
Every sales target.
But they remember how you made them feel.
They remember whether they felt supported.
Respected.
Valued.
Believed in.
That conversation reminded me that leadership has never been about building a business.
It’s about building people.
What I Believe Now About Building Great Teams
After more than twenty years of leading businesses, there are a few things I know for certain.
Relationships drive performance.
Culture matters more than talent.
Problems ignored today become larger problems tomorrow.
Open, proactive communication prevents many of the crises leaders find themselves managing.
And people should never be treated as a means to an end.
They are the reason the work matters in the first place.
In Now Hiring, I share The Alignment System because I believe organizations can become places where people grow, thrive, and discover what they’re truly capable of becoming.
The strongest teams aren’t built through fear.
They aren’t built through control.
And they certainly aren’t built through pressure alone.
They’re built through trust.
They’re built through intentional relationships.
They’re built by leaders who know their people well enough to help them reach their potential.
Because at the end of the day, leadership isn’t primarily about managing tasks.
It’s about investing in amazing, imperfect, talented people.
And when we do that well, everyone benefits.
